I don’t know why, but after last weeks James Tait led torture session, I decided to go back to Knox tonight for another crack at it and try to get this old guys body BMX fit for the 2017 season ahead. Whilst last weeks session was very physical in regards to endurance, this weeks session was more skills based and getting my body moving the right way whilst riding.

Sounds pretty easy, but my goodness I am feeling muscles that I didn’t know I had, I am sitting here with my legs screaming at me, “what the hell have you done to us” what torture did the evil one devise this week you may ask, pump drills.

We start off from the start gate, pedal to the first jump and pump the rest of the track, which probably wouldn’t be so bad if I would actually commit to the Knox doubles, but any time my front wheel comes off the ground, everything puckers up and I hang on for dear life, usually with my eyes closed and screaming in fear at the same time. At 125kgs any air time is not fun time, if we were meant to fly we have a pair of wings on our backs, therefore my wheels stay firmly on the ground as much as I can make them.

I digress, back to the pump laps, I slowly get around the first berm and into the 2nd straight where the jumps are a bit higher than in the third straight, I say a little prayer and hope to dear god that I don’t start rolling backwards, but to my surprise I found I was able to get through the 2nd straight and through to the end of the track with only having to put one pedal in around the third berm to make it to the end.

This is not too bad, I think to myself, but here is where the pump session starts to get serious, constant run through of the third and home straights with real focus on getting our weight out over our back wheel and this is where the evilness of young Mr Tait starts to rise to the surface, the first drill is to touch our butts on our back wheels, this means we have to get our body weight way over the back of the bike, this is just ridiculous I think to myself, it may be alright for these kids that are 4 feet and weigh 40kg’s when they are wringing wet, but I am 6’1 and 125kg on a good day, this it is a lot of weight that has to go along way down to get my arse on the tyre as I am rolling around the track, I attempted this drill but I am sure I looked like I was riding a clown bike at the circus.

I can honestly say though by the end of the pump drills I think I had improved just a little bit and I need to stretch and strengthen the muscles that I have not used before. By the time the pump drills were over I was totally spent, sweat was pouring off me, as if someone had turned on a tap, I rode back to the top of the start hill and gulped down water in between gulping down as much oxygen as I could to try to recover, I thought by now that we were finished for the night, I was wrong…

Gate starts and ride through to the first berm, thank goodness I think to myself this is easy enough, but it was short lived, the next gate start was to the second berm and required more effort and then another and then another, “surely this session has finished” I think to myself, I was wrong, again.

The last drill is designed I am sure to put the utmost pain through this old body as humanly possible, medieval torture has nothing on this drill, starting behind the start gate we ride as hard as we can through to the finish line, drop our bikes, run around the scoring shed, do 10 push ups, run back to our bikes and ride the track backwards finishing this torture test back at the top of the hill. Ok like seriously, WTF, you want me to do what? Push ups, I haven’t done a push up for 25 years, 10 push ups for me is like lifting over a tonne of weight, its heavy duty and may require a crane to get me back to my feet. So I stood up on my pedals waiting for the start gate to drop, I straighten my wrists, move my weight backwards, waiting to spring out of the gate, I hit the first straight, just behind the kids, I get over the Knox doubles only closing my eyes briefly, get around the first berm and pump through the second and third straight, get to the table top in the fourth straight, when I hit with a flash of inspiration, I slam on the brakes, turn around and race back to the top of the start hill. That was it, I was done, nothing more to give, nothing left in the tank, see you next week James.